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denMy mate Steve in the UK sent me this.
A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.
First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this a huge fish
jumps out and bites him. To show the others who's boss he beats it to death
with a spade. Realizing that his employer won't be best pleased he disposes
of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.
Moving on the second job of clearing out the Chimpanzee house, he is
attacked by the chimps that pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two of the
chimps with a spade, killing them both. What can he do? Feed them to the
lions he says to himself, because lions eat anything. He hurls the corpses
into the lion enclosure.
He moved on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South
American Bees. As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the
spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and throws
them into the lion enclosure.
Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another and
says, "What's the food like here?"
The lion says "Absolutely brilliant".
"Today we had fish and chimps with mushy bees!"
A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.
First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this a huge fish
jumps out and bites him. To show the others who's boss he beats it to death
with a spade. Realizing that his employer won't be best pleased he disposes
of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.
Moving on the second job of clearing out the Chimpanzee house, he is
attacked by the chimps that pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two of the
chimps with a spade, killing them both. What can he do? Feed them to the
lions he says to himself, because lions eat anything. He hurls the corpses
into the lion enclosure.
He moved on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South
American Bees. As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the
spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and throws
them into the lion enclosure.
Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another and
says, "What's the food like here?"
The lion says "Absolutely brilliant".
"Today we had fish and chimps with mushy bees!"
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no subject
Date: 16 Oct 2005 09:38 (UTC)no subject
Date: 16 Oct 2005 09:38 (UTC)no subject
Date: 16 Oct 2005 11:30 (UTC)This guy has a backyard zoo. It's really impressive for an amateur; he's got kangaroos, a lion-- an old toothless retired circus lion, but a lion nonetheless-- a chimp, even a couple of small dolphins living in his swimming pool.
He reads that he can make the dolphins live forever if he can just feed them sea gulls. This sounds like a good thing, so he goes out, captures some sea gulls, and brings them home.
When he gets home, the lion is out of his cage. He's asleep across the gate to the back yard. Our hero isn't afraid, though, because while the lion is very impressive and regal, he's old and sleepy and gentle. So he just lifts the birdcage high and steps over the lion.
And is immediately arrested by the FBI. Why? He was transporting gulls across a stately lion for immortal porpoises!
no subject
Date: 16 Oct 2005 17:01 (UTC)no subject
Date: 18 Oct 2005 20:43 (UTC)no subject
Date: 16 Oct 2005 11:51 (UTC)no subject
Date: 16 Oct 2005 13:44 (UTC)no subject
Date: 16 Oct 2005 16:14 (UTC)no subject
Date: 16 Oct 2005 17:03 (UTC)no subject
Date: 16 Oct 2005 18:30 (UTC)no subject
Date: 16 Oct 2005 19:25 (UTC)Have the best
-=TK
no subject
Date: 16 Oct 2005 21:31 (UTC)no subject
Date: 16 Oct 2005 21:33 (UTC)Have the best
-=TK
no subject
Date: 17 Oct 2005 01:12 (UTC)no subject
Date: 17 Oct 2005 03:04 (UTC)Have the best
-=TK
Yer BOTH wrong!
Date: 17 Oct 2005 08:22 (UTC)Tako poke: raw octopus with chili pepper, seaweed and salt.
Kukui nut relish: Too much will give you the screaming shits. Too much being more than a teaspoon.
Or the Philipenes...
Balut: Take a fertilzed egg and let it mature to the point where it's a week away from hatching. Now eat it. If you're a wimp, you can boil it first.
Durian: Nuff' said.
Re: Yer BOTH wrong!
Date: 17 Oct 2005 10:28 (UTC)Re: Yer BOTH wrong!
Date: 17 Oct 2005 15:56 (UTC)Lomi Salmon
Mac' Salad
Fried Rice (Hawaiian style)
Squid Luau
Coconut Cake
I'll give you poi, though...
Have the best
-=TK
no subject
Date: 17 Oct 2005 08:32 (UTC)no subject
Date: 17 Oct 2005 10:27 (UTC)no subject
Date: 17 Oct 2005 15:56 (UTC)Have the best
-=TK
no subject
Date: 17 Oct 2005 18:04 (UTC)Suet, dripping, butter etc all play important parts in producing this. In olden times the use of saturated fats wasn't a major health concern as nearly everyone worked hard physically, and you were much more likely to die of something more dangerous before arterial furring became a problem.
These days, the government is funding so many health adverts that no one knows what they can eat any longer. The newest one is that we should reduce our salt intake.
[1] Side note. There is some suggestion that the main reason Britain became a major naval and colonial power is that this was the best way to be able to move somewhere warmer.
Mushy peas
Date: 17 Oct 2005 17:53 (UTC)Ideally, they should become a viscous green material which will cling to plates, spoons etc and form fairly stable piles when spooned/scraped onto a plate. Unfortunately, few chippies (AKA "chip shops", the place where you can buy real fish and chips) these days know how to make them properly. I often see something that looks like thick pea soup being passed off as mushy peas.
There is also a "fast cook" version which involves baking soda to break down the cellulose, but that tastes even worse than the original formula.
no subject
Date: 16 Oct 2005 17:50 (UTC)And I intend to share it with my folks straightaway!!
888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888
no subject
Date: 17 Oct 2005 04:10 (UTC)i wrapped it in a soft cloth put it in the nest, into a box, and am now waiting for wildlife carers to contact me...
any suggestions?
it's so young. eyes aren't even open yet.
monday 2.10pm
no subject
Date: 17 Oct 2005 04:24 (UTC)The nest isn't important. I use empty margarine tubs stuffed with tissues. Make a hollow in the tissues and put the chick in, place it in a box and then have the hot water bottles beside it.
no subject
Date: 17 Oct 2005 11:11 (UTC)poor little thing. photos later. :-)
ps, the bottle is a really good idea. i will remember that for next? time. i didn't have a hot water bottle, so used a desk lamp as a heater.
no subject
Date: 17 Oct 2005 04:25 (UTC)wildlife carers have been contacted, and i'm just waiting for their call. once it's nice and warm i will try giving it a drop or two of water.
i hope i'm doing the right things.. poor little tiny baby. :-/
no subject
Date: 17 Oct 2005 04:38 (UTC)You're getting points with the peewee mafia, you know.
Cooee!
Date: 17 Oct 2005 08:24 (UTC)Re: Cooee!
Date: 17 Oct 2005 10:40 (UTC)HEY! When you're in Aus, see if you can buy a pie floater from a pie vendor You can anywhere in Adelaide, and from some of the better ones in Sydney and Melbourne.
You take a hot meat pie, place it in a soup bowl and pour hot pea soup until the pie floats.
Re: Cooee!
Date: 17 Oct 2005 19:25 (UTC)Been there, done that, got the belly to prove it! *BURP!*