A Joke

[den]

My mate Steve in the UK sent me this.


A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.

First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this a huge fish
jumps out and bites him. To show the others who's boss he beats it to death
with a spade. Realizing that his employer won't be best pleased he disposes
of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.

Moving on the second job of clearing out the Chimpanzee house, he is
attacked by the chimps that pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two of the
chimps with a spade, killing them both. What can he do? Feed them to the
lions he says to himself, because lions eat anything. He hurls the corpses
into the lion enclosure.

He moved on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South
American Bees. As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the
spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and throws
them into the lion enclosure.

Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another and
says, "What's the food like here?"

The lion says "Absolutely brilliant".

"Today we had fish and chimps with mushy bees!"

Comments

Mushy peas

[klishnor.livejournal.com]

Real mushy peas are those which have been cooked for so long that there's functionally zero nutritional value in them. The addition of a small amount of sugar is often recommended.

Ideally, they should become a viscous green material which will cling to plates, spoons etc and form fairly stable piles when spooned/scraped onto a plate. Unfortunately, few chippies (AKA "chip shops", the place where you can buy real fish and chips) these days know how to make them properly. I often see something that looks like thick pea soup being passed off as mushy peas.

There is also a "fast cook" version which involves baking soda to break down the cellulose, but that tastes even worse than the original formula.