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denMy mate Steve in the UK sent me this.
A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.
First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this a huge fish
jumps out and bites him. To show the others who's boss he beats it to death
with a spade. Realizing that his employer won't be best pleased he disposes
of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.
Moving on the second job of clearing out the Chimpanzee house, he is
attacked by the chimps that pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two of the
chimps with a spade, killing them both. What can he do? Feed them to the
lions he says to himself, because lions eat anything. He hurls the corpses
into the lion enclosure.
He moved on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South
American Bees. As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the
spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and throws
them into the lion enclosure.
Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another and
says, "What's the food like here?"
The lion says "Absolutely brilliant".
"Today we had fish and chimps with mushy bees!"
A bloke starts his new job at the zoo and is given three tasks.
First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds. As he does this a huge fish
jumps out and bites him. To show the others who's boss he beats it to death
with a spade. Realizing that his employer won't be best pleased he disposes
of the fish by feeding it to the lions, as lions will eat anything.
Moving on the second job of clearing out the Chimpanzee house, he is
attacked by the chimps that pelt him with coconuts. He swipes at two of the
chimps with a spade, killing them both. What can he do? Feed them to the
lions he says to himself, because lions eat anything. He hurls the corpses
into the lion enclosure.
He moved on to the last job which is to collect honey from the South
American Bees. As soon as he starts he is attacked by the bees. He grabs the
spade and smashes the bees to a pulp. By now he knows what to do and throws
them into the lion enclosure.
Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. He wanders up to another and
says, "What's the food like here?"
The lion says "Absolutely brilliant".
"Today we had fish and chimps with mushy bees!"
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no subject
Date: 16 Oct 2005 11:30 (UTC)This guy has a backyard zoo. It's really impressive for an amateur; he's got kangaroos, a lion-- an old toothless retired circus lion, but a lion nonetheless-- a chimp, even a couple of small dolphins living in his swimming pool.
He reads that he can make the dolphins live forever if he can just feed them sea gulls. This sounds like a good thing, so he goes out, captures some sea gulls, and brings them home.
When he gets home, the lion is out of his cage. He's asleep across the gate to the back yard. Our hero isn't afraid, though, because while the lion is very impressive and regal, he's old and sleepy and gentle. So he just lifts the birdcage high and steps over the lion.
And is immediately arrested by the FBI. Why? He was transporting gulls across a stately lion for immortal porpoises!
no subject
Date: 16 Oct 2005 17:01 (UTC)no subject
Date: 18 Oct 2005 20:43 (UTC)