Rampage. A Real rampage.

[den]

Today brought the sad news of a zookeeper being killed in what is probably South America's second most embarrassing way to die: Killed by an anteater.

I'm lucky, I thought as I walked into my room. My anteater is a nice little thing. Imagine being mauled by an echidna...

My room was trashed. Fips had escaped from his bed-cage and rampaged through my room. A newspaper had been shredded into confetti, the bottom rows the book shelves had all been emptied with the books scattered all over the place. Towels were pulled from racks. My laundry on the floor smelled of echidna wizz. The carpet...

Fips had burrowed under the edges of the carpet, shredding a strip 6" wide and 2 feet long. Underfelt fragments were scattered all over. He found the old rolled scrap near a wall and crawled inside to sleep, which is where I found him.

Tonight I will be making sure his cage is well locked. I do not want to wake up to discover myself being mauled to death by a pissed off echidna. That would be Australia's third-most embarrassing way to die.

Comments

[tigermorph.livejournal.com]

Do I want to know the two most embarrassing ways to die?

Oh Fips... Well, Den.... at least you know your books are free of termites... Or something.

[ngarewyrd.livejournal.com]

Redback spider on the goolies is a pretty bad one...

but the most embarressing way to die? drop-bear *nods sagely*

[tigermorph.livejournal.com]

Drop bear, eh?

*goes looking that up*

Oh my!
"According to legend, Drop Bears are dangerous creatures that hide in gum trees. You can tell if one of them is hiding in a tree by lying on your back beneath the tree and spitting upwards. If the Drop Bear is up there, it'll spit back."

*Pictures many a tourist going from gum tree to gum tree attempting this.*

[jamesb]

Whenever there's a joint Australian/US military training exercise held over here, the Australian soldiers make sure that they tell the visitors about the dangers of Drop Bears. Watching tough US Marines nervously scanning the trees as they about in the exercise area is apparently quite entertaining to Australian soldiers.

[weyrdbird.livejournal.com]

The Australian Equivalent of The Snipe Hunt. Whoda Thunk?:D

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

[hitchhiker.livejournal.com]

the "snipe hunt" thing has backfired somewhat - i've met several americans who were surprised to hear that a snipe is a real bird.

[weyrdbird.livejournal.com]

Ok, so send them after jackalopes and hoopsnakes!;D

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

I just had the "yeah, they're real birds"/"no, really?" discussion yesterday, in fact . . . after I'd explained about drop bears.

[ngarewyrd.livejournal.com]

Sometimes I ponder the idea that 'dropbears' are rural tales regarding thylacoleo carnifex, which, it has been suggested to me, was an agile climber, and an ambush predator...

combine the two, add a pouch, what have you got? Drop Bears! =8D

[goodluckfox.livejournal.com]

There are so, SO many ways to apparently get killed in Australia.

o/ Come to Australia... you might accidently get killed. o/
o/ Your blood is bound to be spilled.

[weyrdbird.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that release strategy is a good thing.
I suspect Fips was hungry, or very bored. If it weren't for his fondness for the rolled up carpet (substiute burrow?), I could see him lurking quietly behind the door, "patently on the idear of escape!". He's that most dangerous of creatures!:D

[taldragon.livejournal.com]

i can see Fips lurking quietly behind the door, waiting to jump out and attack unsuspecting toes.

[dewhitton.livejournal.com]

He was wandering around the room this morning because I hadn't latched his cage properly last night. An echidna tongue between the toes wakes you us real fast.

[weyrdbird.livejournal.com]

Oh, he's a practical joker, that one:D!
I think the little joker is in need of some outside diversive stimulus.:D

[glinda-w.livejournal.com]

*hysterical laughter*

[mactavish.livejournal.com]

It's a bad idea not to floss the termites from between your toes before bed.

[siliconshaman.livejournal.com]

I guess being killed by a ray is No1, but what's no2 ? Rogered to death by sex-crazed koalas?

[dewhitton.livejournal.com]

no.

1. Mauled to death by a wobbiegon shark
2. Trying to crawl down a wombat burro, and being crushed to death by the wombat as it presses its bum against the ceiling.

[tatterdemalion.livejournal.com]

sooo, first most embarassing way to die would be being mauled to death by a wobegong I think.. what would number two be?

[dewhitton.livejournal.com]

Crushed to death in a wombat burrow as it presses its bum against the ceiling.

[hedgegoth.livejournal.com]

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=310128468072066622&q=otters

[walkertxkitty.livejournal.com]

Oh, no! I'm sorry, I really am, it must have been a horrible mess and it sounds like it will be expensive to repair but...

Damn, that's funny!

I've had the dubious experience of having my hybrid pillage the house. Never, never piss off anything with wildlife blood running through it. He shredded the carpet, the padding, and the floor. He tore the blinds off the window. He peed on my clean laundry and then on the dirty laundry. He left a "present" on my pillow on the bed.

I feel for you, man.

[beki.livejournal.com]

And the first two would be?

[acelightning.livejournal.com]