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You Know You're From Australia When...



Your next door neighbours can be from Tunisia, Israel, Indonesia, Japan, Zimbabwe, Iraq, Brazil, Spain, Malaysia...
yep

The community is so concerned over the fact that muslim women can't use public swimming pools because there are men present that they have female-only periods.
not around here

The Greeks and Mexicans next door ask you over to have a barbeque.
yep

You don't actually use the words 'sheila' or 'shrimp'.
true

You sleep with Aeroguard on.
done that

You're wearing a cap emblazoned with 'Get A Dog Up Ya.'
Had it on a t-shirt

You feel obliged to spread salty black stuff that looks like congealed motor oil on bread and actually grow to like it.
Food of the gods!

You actively dislike Americans, but watch their TV, eat their food and worship their idols.
NO! yes, yes NO!

You think Tall Poppy Syndrome is a national condition.
yes

Democracy means the freedom to draw caricatures of John Howard.
You bet!

Your idea of a lethal weapon is a slug gun.
yep

The closest you ever got to going overseas was your packet of 5 Days In Rio grundies.
Get stuffed! I've been to New Zealand and Europe!

A posh meal = an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Gotta love them Golden Troughs

The term "musical instrument" also extends to wobbly bits of ply-wood, hand saws, gum leafs and combs.
that's silly

Your most offensive curse also doubles as an exclamation of awe or amazement, like, "fark orf!"
'ken oath!

All of your internationally famous people don't live here.
True

You think footballers dressing up in drag on TV is funny (but your son being gay isn't).
Those bogans are boofheads. I hate them

You relish test cricket - the longest, slowest game in sport (and that's not even counting the replays). After all, what else gives you an excuse to sit on your arse for five days, watch TV and sink piss with your mates?
True!

You don't drink Fosters, but you let the world think you do.
YES! And I TELL EVERYONE IT'S PISS!

The only thing better than beating the Pohms at ANY sport is giving them shit for it.
Hee hee hee!

You love, adore and admire a particular team/sportstar/actor on a winning streak - until they lose. Then they're just crap and 'past it.'
Yep

You can compress several words into one - ie 'g'day', 'd'reckn?' This allows for more space for profanities.
Whadayareckon?

You favour either Holden or Ford - or a souped-up WRX with new kit and a bootful of subwoofer.
It's ture, but not about the WRX. Doof-doof boyz in their rice-cars shit me.

Driving down the main street/beach road playing bad techno is your idea of a perfect Saturday night / Sunday arvo.
Not for me.

You make kooky films, sometimes about wayward road trips (across the outback preferably). Quite a few are crap.
I don't do that, personally.

You know all the words to Khe Sahn but not the national anthem.
True

Your nickname ends in 'a' or 'o'.
Y, actually

You have a customised stubby holder.
*embarrassment*

Your soap stars become pop singers and move to the UK.
GOOD!

You've ever used the words - grouse, tops, ripper, choice, sick, rad, exo, ace, wicked, ballistic - to mean good. And then you place 'bloody' in front of it when you really mean it.
Yep!

Your cooking apron has plastic breasts on it.
No.

The "Aussie Aussie Aussie! Oi oi oi!" chant has been a religious experience in the past.
Ugh!

The blokes at the local gym think your weight training is an opportunity to ask you out on a date.
There's a gym? What's it do?

The big national sporting events are men-only.
Sad, but true.

Your politicians believe than sticking the prefix 'un' in front of your nationality is an effective way of making you sit down and shut up.
That's the best way to annoy me and make me cross.

Our mantras are 'fair go for all', 'mateship' and 'little Aussie battler' - but we still publicly condemn those with different viewpoints to us.
Not personally, but it's true.

The barbeque is a male-dominated arena. And the women do the salads.
YES!

'Fair go for all' excludes indigenous people.
Sad, but true. I don't agree with it.

An eight-hour trip to go camping for the weekend isn't out of the question or excessive.
Only 8 hours? Why not do a proper road trip?

You take pride in living in a tolerant multicultural society but firmly believe that all Poms and Kiwis are fair game.
8)

You insist on asking every celebrity who steps of an aircraft what they think of Australia. If the response is not overwhelmingly positive, they should be subjected to immediate public ridicule.
This is a sad fact of Australian Journalism.

The private lives of footy and cricket players become more important than local and national news stories.

Slick pick-up lines like 'Wanna shag?' and 'Carn, show us yer tits' can constitute male-to-female conversation.
Sad, but true

You say 'no worries' quite often, whether you realise it or not.
um... yeah. oops.

You realise you have no Bill of Rights.
If you define what the rights are, they can ban everything else!

The first thing guaranteed to get eaten at parties is fairy bread.
yep!

So that's the special ingredients that make up an Aussie - whatever your taste.
yep!

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Austrailia.
Guilty!

http://www.blogthings.com/wherefrom.html

Date: 7 Sep 2004 23:30 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vandringar.livejournal.com
I didn't understand most of that! :)

Date: 7 Sep 2004 23:33 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] starcat-jewel.livejournal.com
Some help for the Aussie-impaired, please?

Is "Aeroguard" mosquito repellent?
"Get A Dog Up Ya"???!
What's "Tall Poppy Syndrome"?
"Khe Sahn"?
"stubby holder"?
"fairy bread"?

Oh, and the bit about sticking "un" in front of the nationality and expecting people to shut up and sit down? I think you guys learned it from us. :-(

Date: 7 Sep 2004 23:45 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dewhitton.livejournal.com
Aeroguard - spray on insect repellent
Get A Dog Up Ya - it's rude.
Tall Poppy Syndrome - When someone starts doing well, or being good at something, they are often criticized for it. "Cutting down the tall poppy"
Khe Sahn - a song by 80s rock group Cold Chisel
Stubby Holder - an insulated cylinder you put cans or bottles into so your hand doesn't warm them.
Fairy Bread - a buttered slice of bread sprinkled with "hundreds and thousands."

The un-bit annoys me.

Date: 7 Sep 2004 23:50 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] oceansedge.livejournal.com
Heh... here I thought it was only Canadians that used to call their beer bottles 'stubbies' :)

Date: 8 Sep 2004 07:23 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] oceansedge.livejournal.com
And the chocolate ones are called 'chocolate shot' in cookbooks :)

Date: 10 Sep 2004 06:16 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elektron.livejournal.com
They were always sprinkles to me!

Date: 8 Sep 2004 11:36 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] starcat-jewel.livejournal.com
Over here, "stubby holders" are called "koozies". This completely boggles me, because I'd never heard anyone use the term until a couple of years ago and I keep getting it confused with "koosh", a type of soft rubber ball toy.

I would have been confused by "hundreds and thousands", but apparently sometime in the past it was explained to me that they were the same thing as nonpareils, and a vague memory seeped thru. :)

Date: 8 Sep 2004 00:02 (UTC)
ext_32976: (Default)
From: [identity profile] twfarlan.livejournal.com
Half this stuff applies to Texas, for that matter.

You don't actually use the words 'sheila' or 'shrimp'.
Nope, we don't use those either. :)

You actively dislike Americans, but watch their TV, eat their food and worship their idols.
Heh, yes, yes, yes and no. :) See, not so different.

Democracy means the freedom to draw caricatures of John Howard.
Well, Bush for us, but same difference.

The closest you ever got to going overseas was your packet of 5 Days In Rio grundies.
Man, most Amurcans (slurred "American") don't quite get that China is a country in Asia, so this applies to us, too. Myself, I've been outside my own nation, yes.

A posh meal = an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Again, have you never met a Texan? Heh.

The term "musical instrument" also extends to wobbly bits of ply-wood, hand saws, gum leafs and combs.
Well, not the leaves, no... but the rest of it, yeah, been there.

Your most offensive curse also doubles as an exclamation of awe or amazement, like, "fark orf!"
"Fuck!" It's the all-purpose word, man.

All of your internationally famous people don't live here.
Yep, none of our famous people live here. :) Well, Ross Perot, but he doesn't count.

You think footballers dressing up in drag on TV is funny (but your son being gay isn't).
That sounds like a Texan, sure.

You relish test cricket - the longest, slowest game in sport (and that's not even counting the replays). After all, what else gives you an excuse to sit on your arse for five days, watch TV and sink piss with your mates?
Man, golf. Fucking golf.

You love, adore and admire a particular team/sportstar/actor on a winning streak - until they lose. Then they're just crap and 'past it.'
Again, Texans.

You can compress several words into one - ie 'g'day', 'd'reckn?' This allows for more space for profanities.
Yawntoo? (Do you want to?) Widgerdidger? (Did you bring this thing with you, by chance? "With you, did you?") Not particular to Texas, but still.

You favour either Holden or Ford - or a souped-up WRX with new kit and a bootful of subwoofer.
Replace "Holden" with "Dodge" and you're still in Texas.

You know all the words to "All My Exes Live in Texas" but not the national anthem.
Not true of me, but still.

Your nickname ends in 'a' or 'o'.
Heh, over here, your nickname ends in a Y. If it doesn't, you get a new nickname that does.

You've ever used the words - grouse, tops, ripper, choice, sick, rad, exo, ace, wicked, ballistic - to mean good. And then you place 'bloody' in front of it when you really mean it.
Shite, man, I've used most of these myself and do indeed add "bloody" as a modifier.

The big national sporting events are men-only.
True here, too. Only women men expect to see at the Super Bowl are shaking pom-poms.

Your politicians believe than sticking the prefix 'un' in front of your nationality is an effective way of making you sit down and shut up.
Sounds perfectly American in general to me. Texan in particular.

Our mantras are 'freedom of speech', 'democracy' and 'United We Stand' - but we still publicly condemn those with different viewpoints to us.
Seeing what I mean?

The barbeque is a male-dominated arena. And the women do the salads.
True here, for the most part.

'Freedom for all' excludes indigenous people.
Man, have you met a Native American?

An eight-hour trip to go camping for the weekend isn't out of the question or excessive.
"Only 8 hours? Why not do a proper road trip?" You sure you aren't Texan? :)

You take pride in living in a tolerant multicultural society but firmly believe that every other country is fair game.
I'm ashamed of it, but it's true here.

You insist on asking every celebrity who steps of an aircraft what they think of the current government. If the response is not overwhelmingly positive, they should be subjected to immediate public ridicule.
This is a sad fact of American journalism.

The private lives of football and basketball players become more important than local and national news stories.
They become local and national news stories, man.

Slick pick-up lines like 'Wanna fuck?' and 'Yeehaw, show us yer tits' can constitute male-to-female conversation.
True here. Also known as "foreplay."

You realise you have no Bill of Rights.
Four more years of Bush and we'll be here.

Date: 8 Sep 2004 00:30 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dewhitton.livejournal.com
*laughs*

Maybe I should buy a big hat.

Date: 8 Sep 2004 00:42 (UTC)
ext_32976: (Default)
From: [identity profile] twfarlan.livejournal.com
There you go, another thing that marks a Texan or an Australian. You own a big hat. The difference, of course, is that a Texan's hat brim is curled up on both sides of the head whilst the Australian's hat brim is flat on one side and pressed straight up against the head on the other. Heh.

Date: 8 Sep 2004 01:12 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ngarewyrd.livejournal.com
nah, technically speaking, that's only the army hats. we also have akubra hats, which are like Cowboy hats, except not *grins*

Re: I'm partial to...

Date: 8 Sep 2004 15:47 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ngarewyrd.livejournal.com
GUDDAY BRUCE!

Re: I'm partial to...

Date: 8 Sep 2004 16:32 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dewhitton.livejournal.com
Some bastard stole all his bottles!

Date: 8 Sep 2004 08:03 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] athelind.livejournal.com
Wait. How does the last part make Australia UNLIKE Texas?

Date: 8 Sep 2004 01:13 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ngarewyrd.livejournal.com
it's been YEARS since I've had my mitts on a bit of fairy bread...

Date: 8 Sep 2004 05:30 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] the-gneech.livejournal.com
That reminds me, I actually got to try some Vegamite (sp?) at Dragon*Con. It was ... er ... potent. :)

-The Gneech

Get a dog up ya???

Date: 8 Sep 2004 07:25 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ursuscal.livejournal.com
I'm certain that the meaning that evokes in *my* mind isn't what it translates to in Australian slang! };xD

I'm making a T-shirt of my own tonight. It will be on a gray tank-top, and will say: "I'm taking psychiatric meds -- and I just ran out!" The "just ran out" lettering will be all jagged-edged and red. }:xD

Re: Get a dog up ya???

Date: 8 Sep 2004 09:10 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wispfox.livejournal.com
"Get a dog up ya" sounds uncomfortable. To say the least!

Date: 8 Sep 2004 08:05 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] athelind.livejournal.com
It doesn't mention the uncanny ability to pronounce "Australia" as a one-and-half syllable word.

Date: 8 Sep 2004 16:33 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dewhitton.livejournal.com
What's wrong with 'Straya

Date: 8 Sep 2004 11:43 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hendikins.livejournal.com
Oh dear, now you've made me go and do this (http://www.livejournal.com/users/hendikins/69324.html#cutid1)... :P

Date: 17 Sep 2004 17:32 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] somk.livejournal.com
heheheheee.. so cute ! much <3 !!

Date: 17 Sep 2004 17:42 (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dewhitton.livejournal.com
VINDALOO BEAST! It's YOU!

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