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You Know You're From Australia When...
Your next door neighbours can be from Tunisia, Israel, Indonesia, Japan, Zimbabwe, Iraq, Brazil, Spain, Malaysia...
yep
The community is so concerned over the fact that muslim women can't use public swimming pools because there are men present that they have female-only periods.
not around here
The Greeks and Mexicans next door ask you over to have a barbeque.
yep
You don't actually use the words 'sheila' or 'shrimp'.
true
You sleep with Aeroguard on.
done that
You're wearing a cap emblazoned with 'Get A Dog Up Ya.'
Had it on a t-shirt
You feel obliged to spread salty black stuff that looks like congealed motor oil on bread and actually grow to like it.
Food of the gods!
You actively dislike Americans, but watch their TV, eat their food and worship their idols.
NO! yes, yes NO!
You think Tall Poppy Syndrome is a national condition.
yes
Democracy means the freedom to draw caricatures of John Howard.
You bet!
Your idea of a lethal weapon is a slug gun.
yep
The closest you ever got to going overseas was your packet of 5 Days In Rio grundies.
Get stuffed! I've been to New Zealand and Europe!
A posh meal = an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Gotta love them Golden Troughs
The term "musical instrument" also extends to wobbly bits of ply-wood, hand saws, gum leafs and combs.
that's silly
Your most offensive curse also doubles as an exclamation of awe or amazement, like, "fark orf!"
'ken oath!
All of your internationally famous people don't live here.
True
You think footballers dressing up in drag on TV is funny (but your son being gay isn't).
Those bogans are boofheads. I hate them
You relish test cricket - the longest, slowest game in sport (and that's not even counting the replays). After all, what else gives you an excuse to sit on your arse for five days, watch TV and sink piss with your mates?
True!
You don't drink Fosters, but you let the world think you do.
YES! And I TELL EVERYONE IT'S PISS!
The only thing better than beating the Pohms at ANY sport is giving them shit for it.
Hee hee hee!
You love, adore and admire a particular team/sportstar/actor on a winning streak - until they lose. Then they're just crap and 'past it.'
Yep
You can compress several words into one - ie 'g'day', 'd'reckn?' This allows for more space for profanities.
Whadayareckon?
You favour either Holden or Ford - or a souped-up WRX with new kit and a bootful of subwoofer.
It's ture, but not about the WRX. Doof-doof boyz in their rice-cars shit me.
Driving down the main street/beach road playing bad techno is your idea of a perfect Saturday night / Sunday arvo.
Not for me.
You make kooky films, sometimes about wayward road trips (across the outback preferably). Quite a few are crap.
I don't do that, personally.
You know all the words to Khe Sahn but not the national anthem.
True
Your nickname ends in 'a' or 'o'.
Y, actually
You have a customised stubby holder.
*embarrassment*
Your soap stars become pop singers and move to the UK.
GOOD!
You've ever used the words - grouse, tops, ripper, choice, sick, rad, exo, ace, wicked, ballistic - to mean good. And then you place 'bloody' in front of it when you really mean it.
Yep!
Your cooking apron has plastic breasts on it.
No.
The "Aussie Aussie Aussie! Oi oi oi!" chant has been a religious experience in the past.
Ugh!
The blokes at the local gym think your weight training is an opportunity to ask you out on a date.
There's a gym? What's it do?
The big national sporting events are men-only.
Sad, but true.
Your politicians believe than sticking the prefix 'un' in front of your nationality is an effective way of making you sit down and shut up.
That's the best way to annoy me and make me cross.
Our mantras are 'fair go for all', 'mateship' and 'little Aussie battler' - but we still publicly condemn those with different viewpoints to us.
Not personally, but it's true.
The barbeque is a male-dominated arena. And the women do the salads.
YES!
'Fair go for all' excludes indigenous people.
Sad, but true. I don't agree with it.
An eight-hour trip to go camping for the weekend isn't out of the question or excessive.
Only 8 hours? Why not do a proper road trip?
You take pride in living in a tolerant multicultural society but firmly believe that all Poms and Kiwis are fair game.
8)
You insist on asking every celebrity who steps of an aircraft what they think of Australia. If the response is not overwhelmingly positive, they should be subjected to immediate public ridicule.
This is a sad fact of Australian Journalism.
The private lives of footy and cricket players become more important than local and national news stories.
Slick pick-up lines like 'Wanna shag?' and 'Carn, show us yer tits' can constitute male-to-female conversation.
Sad, but true
You say 'no worries' quite often, whether you realise it or not.
um... yeah. oops.
You realise you have no Bill of Rights.
If you define what the rights are, they can ban everything else!
The first thing guaranteed to get eaten at parties is fairy bread.
yep!
So that's the special ingredients that make up an Aussie - whatever your taste.
yep!
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Austrailia.
Guilty!
http://www.blogthings.com/wherefrom.html
Your next door neighbours can be from Tunisia, Israel, Indonesia, Japan, Zimbabwe, Iraq, Brazil, Spain, Malaysia...
yep
The community is so concerned over the fact that muslim women can't use public swimming pools because there are men present that they have female-only periods.
not around here
The Greeks and Mexicans next door ask you over to have a barbeque.
yep
You don't actually use the words 'sheila' or 'shrimp'.
true
You sleep with Aeroguard on.
done that
You're wearing a cap emblazoned with 'Get A Dog Up Ya.'
Had it on a t-shirt
You feel obliged to spread salty black stuff that looks like congealed motor oil on bread and actually grow to like it.
Food of the gods!
You actively dislike Americans, but watch their TV, eat their food and worship their idols.
NO! yes, yes NO!
You think Tall Poppy Syndrome is a national condition.
yes
Democracy means the freedom to draw caricatures of John Howard.
You bet!
Your idea of a lethal weapon is a slug gun.
yep
The closest you ever got to going overseas was your packet of 5 Days In Rio grundies.
Get stuffed! I've been to New Zealand and Europe!
A posh meal = an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Gotta love them Golden Troughs
The term "musical instrument" also extends to wobbly bits of ply-wood, hand saws, gum leafs and combs.
that's silly
Your most offensive curse also doubles as an exclamation of awe or amazement, like, "fark orf!"
'ken oath!
All of your internationally famous people don't live here.
True
You think footballers dressing up in drag on TV is funny (but your son being gay isn't).
Those bogans are boofheads. I hate them
You relish test cricket - the longest, slowest game in sport (and that's not even counting the replays). After all, what else gives you an excuse to sit on your arse for five days, watch TV and sink piss with your mates?
True!
You don't drink Fosters, but you let the world think you do.
YES! And I TELL EVERYONE IT'S PISS!
The only thing better than beating the Pohms at ANY sport is giving them shit for it.
Hee hee hee!
You love, adore and admire a particular team/sportstar/actor on a winning streak - until they lose. Then they're just crap and 'past it.'
Yep
You can compress several words into one - ie 'g'day', 'd'reckn?' This allows for more space for profanities.
Whadayareckon?
You favour either Holden or Ford - or a souped-up WRX with new kit and a bootful of subwoofer.
It's ture, but not about the WRX. Doof-doof boyz in their rice-cars shit me.
Driving down the main street/beach road playing bad techno is your idea of a perfect Saturday night / Sunday arvo.
Not for me.
You make kooky films, sometimes about wayward road trips (across the outback preferably). Quite a few are crap.
I don't do that, personally.
You know all the words to Khe Sahn but not the national anthem.
True
Your nickname ends in 'a' or 'o'.
Y, actually
You have a customised stubby holder.
*embarrassment*
Your soap stars become pop singers and move to the UK.
GOOD!
You've ever used the words - grouse, tops, ripper, choice, sick, rad, exo, ace, wicked, ballistic - to mean good. And then you place 'bloody' in front of it when you really mean it.
Yep!
Your cooking apron has plastic breasts on it.
No.
The "Aussie Aussie Aussie! Oi oi oi!" chant has been a religious experience in the past.
Ugh!
The blokes at the local gym think your weight training is an opportunity to ask you out on a date.
There's a gym? What's it do?
The big national sporting events are men-only.
Sad, but true.
Your politicians believe than sticking the prefix 'un' in front of your nationality is an effective way of making you sit down and shut up.
That's the best way to annoy me and make me cross.
Our mantras are 'fair go for all', 'mateship' and 'little Aussie battler' - but we still publicly condemn those with different viewpoints to us.
Not personally, but it's true.
The barbeque is a male-dominated arena. And the women do the salads.
YES!
'Fair go for all' excludes indigenous people.
Sad, but true. I don't agree with it.
An eight-hour trip to go camping for the weekend isn't out of the question or excessive.
Only 8 hours? Why not do a proper road trip?
You take pride in living in a tolerant multicultural society but firmly believe that all Poms and Kiwis are fair game.
8)
You insist on asking every celebrity who steps of an aircraft what they think of Australia. If the response is not overwhelmingly positive, they should be subjected to immediate public ridicule.
This is a sad fact of Australian Journalism.
The private lives of footy and cricket players become more important than local and national news stories.
Slick pick-up lines like 'Wanna shag?' and 'Carn, show us yer tits' can constitute male-to-female conversation.
Sad, but true
You say 'no worries' quite often, whether you realise it or not.
um... yeah. oops.
You realise you have no Bill of Rights.
If you define what the rights are, they can ban everything else!
The first thing guaranteed to get eaten at parties is fairy bread.
yep!
So that's the special ingredients that make up an Aussie - whatever your taste.
yep!
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Austrailia.
Guilty!
http://www.blogthings.com/wherefrom.html
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Is "Aeroguard" mosquito repellent?
"Get A Dog Up Ya"???!
What's "Tall Poppy Syndrome"?
"Khe Sahn"?
"stubby holder"?
"fairy bread"?
Oh, and the bit about sticking "un" in front of the nationality and expecting people to shut up and sit down? I think you guys learned it from us. :-(
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Get A Dog Up Ya - it's rude.
Tall Poppy Syndrome - When someone starts doing well, or being good at something, they are often criticized for it. "Cutting down the tall poppy"
Khe Sahn - a song by 80s rock group Cold Chisel
Stubby Holder - an insulated cylinder you put cans or bottles into so your hand doesn't warm them.
Fairy Bread - a buttered slice of bread sprinkled with "hundreds and thousands."
The un-bit annoys me.
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I would have been confused by "hundreds and thousands", but apparently sometime in the past it was explained to me that they were the same thing as nonpareils, and a vague memory seeped thru. :)
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You don't actually use the words 'sheila' or 'shrimp'.
Nope, we don't use those either. :)
You actively dislike Americans, but watch their TV, eat their food and worship their idols.
Heh, yes, yes, yes and no. :) See, not so different.
Democracy means the freedom to draw caricatures of John Howard.
Well, Bush for us, but same difference.
The closest you ever got to going overseas was your packet of 5 Days In Rio grundies.
Man, most Amurcans (slurred "American") don't quite get that China is a country in Asia, so this applies to us, too. Myself, I've been outside my own nation, yes.
A posh meal = an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Again, have you never met a Texan? Heh.
The term "musical instrument" also extends to wobbly bits of ply-wood, hand saws, gum leafs and combs.
Well, not the leaves, no... but the rest of it, yeah, been there.
Your most offensive curse also doubles as an exclamation of awe or amazement, like, "fark orf!"
"Fuck!" It's the all-purpose word, man.
All of your internationally famous people don't live here.
Yep, none of our famous people live here. :) Well, Ross Perot, but he doesn't count.
You think footballers dressing up in drag on TV is funny (but your son being gay isn't).
That sounds like a Texan, sure.
You relish test cricket - the longest, slowest game in sport (and that's not even counting the replays). After all, what else gives you an excuse to sit on your arse for five days, watch TV and sink piss with your mates?
Man, golf. Fucking golf.
You love, adore and admire a particular team/sportstar/actor on a winning streak - until they lose. Then they're just crap and 'past it.'
Again, Texans.
You can compress several words into one - ie 'g'day', 'd'reckn?' This allows for more space for profanities.
Yawntoo? (Do you want to?) Widgerdidger? (Did you bring this thing with you, by chance? "With you, did you?") Not particular to Texas, but still.
You favour either Holden or Ford - or a souped-up WRX with new kit and a bootful of subwoofer.
Replace "Holden" with "Dodge" and you're still in Texas.
You know all the words to "All My Exes Live in Texas" but not the national anthem.
Not true of me, but still.
Your nickname ends in 'a' or 'o'.
Heh, over here, your nickname ends in a Y. If it doesn't, you get a new nickname that does.
You've ever used the words - grouse, tops, ripper, choice, sick, rad, exo, ace, wicked, ballistic - to mean good. And then you place 'bloody' in front of it when you really mean it.
Shite, man, I've used most of these myself and do indeed add "bloody" as a modifier.
The big national sporting events are men-only.
True here, too. Only women men expect to see at the Super Bowl are shaking pom-poms.
Your politicians believe than sticking the prefix 'un' in front of your nationality is an effective way of making you sit down and shut up.
Sounds perfectly American in general to me. Texan in particular.
Our mantras are 'freedom of speech', 'democracy' and 'United We Stand' - but we still publicly condemn those with different viewpoints to us.
Seeing what I mean?
The barbeque is a male-dominated arena. And the women do the salads.
True here, for the most part.
'Freedom for all' excludes indigenous people.
Man, have you met a Native American?
An eight-hour trip to go camping for the weekend isn't out of the question or excessive.
"Only 8 hours? Why not do a proper road trip?" You sure you aren't Texan? :)
You take pride in living in a tolerant multicultural society but firmly believe that every other country is fair game.
I'm ashamed of it, but it's true here.
You insist on asking every celebrity who steps of an aircraft what they think of the current government. If the response is not overwhelmingly positive, they should be subjected to immediate public ridicule.
This is a sad fact of American journalism.
The private lives of football and basketball players become more important than local and national news stories.
They become local and national news stories, man.
Slick pick-up lines like 'Wanna fuck?' and 'Yeehaw, show us yer tits' can constitute male-to-female conversation.
True here. Also known as "foreplay."
You realise you have no Bill of Rights.
Four more years of Bush and we'll be here.
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Maybe I should buy a big hat.
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I'm partial to...
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-The Gneech
Get a dog up ya???
I'm making a T-shirt of my own tonight. It will be on a gray tank-top, and will say: "I'm taking psychiatric meds -- and I just ran out!" The "just ran out" lettering will be all jagged-edged and red. }:xD
Re: Get a dog up ya???
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