Sister In Law

[den]

On Saturday Mum went to soccer to watch the kids of my brother's SO play, and she met my Sisterinlaw (married to another brother), who was there with my nephew.

Today Mum got this letter in the mail

"Dear R.

I thank you for your politeness and niceness on Saturday. I wish you well on your journey and hope things go well for you and the family. I am happy for you that you are enjoying E. and her children and you are happy. Enjoy what you have. Please leave me alone. My relationship with you has only ever been stressful. I love my life now. A."

The stress A. mentions is, to my mind, all imagined and one-way and comes from a small list of minor incidents that date back 10 years. There is so much more I could say but won't. I used to visit them at least once a month, but haven't done so for nearly 3 years. I see my brother and the kids occasionally, but I've spoken to her twice in that time.

Comments

[valkyrwench.livejournal.com]

Yeesh. She sounds like the sister-in-law that I don't claim.

[tatterdemalion.livejournal.com]

Oh dear..

sounds like a similar situation to what we had in our family, I was there and I saw what happened, yet over the last 17 years the way it's been allowed to fester, the person in question looks upon it as akin to a major major personal insult.. and she will not forgive or forget..

sad very sad, hope your Mum is ok

[tygermoonfoxx.livejournal.com]

If I understand you correctly, your mother was invited to the soccer game to watch the one brother's kids play and the other brother's wife just happened to be in the same place?

How utterly rude and uncalled for! Your mother shouldn't have to stay away from her other children and grandchildren simply because the sister-in-law might be in the same place at the same time. How utterly arrogant of her to assumed that your mother chose to show up just to antagonize her.

I'm floored....I've honestly never witnessed such rudeness.

[dewhitton.livejournal.com]

Yes, except for one point I didn't mention (and didn't discover until late yesterday):

The SIL wasn't at the soccer field when mum arrived. She turned up later with my neice who'd been at ballet. Mum was alone with my brother, talking to him as you do when you see a familiy member when you're out, and watching my nephew play. Any idea that Mum went out of her way to deliberately talk to the SIL is purely imagined.

[ceruleanst.livejournal.com]

I wonder how many times this woman has uttered the line "I see she's gotten to you too."

[dewhitton.livejournal.com]

I discovered last year that I was on the SIL's shit-list, too. 7 years ago I'd taken time off work to help them move furniture, but after 2 hours I said I had to go back to the office and left, despite the SIL "begging" me to stay. She seems to be of the opinion that working for the family company was a hobby of mine, and not a real job.

One of my uncles calls it the "Only Child Syndrome" and says his first wife was the same. They appear to be willing to let just *one* more person into their life (plus the resulting children) and want no contact with their spouse's family at all.