(no subject)

[den]

"Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master" and other metaphores from the 2002 Higher School Certificate essays.

Comments

[janetmiles.livejournal.com]

The list can be found in various places on the web, including but not limited to http://www.schoolzone.co.uk/students/exams/metaphor.htm. Personally, I'm rather fond of this one: "Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened."

[apel.livejournal.com]

It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

Just how do you do that? And how would this person know?

[ceruleanst.livejournal.com]

The thing that distinguishes this from the typical "kids say the darnedest things" list is that most of these were obviously meant to be funny. I wonder how many teachers failed to realize that, even while they were laughing.

Still, there's no excuse for the kid who tried to rip off Douglas Adams and failed completely.

[ursulav.livejournal.com]

Personally I thought that "The plan was simple, like my brother Phil. But unlike Phil, it just might work," was genius.

A number of these wouldn't stand out in a Terry Prachett book, but I suppose it's all context. You can't just drop a tortured metaphor in mid page...you gotta work up to it slowly. Like an antelope with no legs.