Stories of a short, fat bastard.

I stood with the owner, looking at his swimming pool. Bobbing in the centre of the pool was a pacific black duck and five ducklings. "I don't mind them," said Mr White. "It's just that there's a cat next door and I don't want it to get the babies."

"The other problem is that the ducks are vegetarian," I said. "And there is a serious lack of pond weeds in your pool."

He looked at the sparkling blue water. "Yes. I suppose the chlorine won't do the ducks any good, too."

"No." I hoisted the leaf net and considered the strategy. The plan was to catch one duckling, hassle it a little to make it peep so that the mum tries to rescue it, then net the mum while she was distracted. After that we could just scoop the little duckies in the net. As it turned out the capture was much easier. As soon as I entered the pool enclosure she huffed at me and put herself between me and the ducklings. I tried to get closer, she swam at me, and I dropped the net over her. The next 30 seconds were filled with much spashing, flapping and quacking, then suddenly I was drenched and holding a very grumpy duck. I put her in the box and stood back. She called and the raft of ducklings in the centre of the pool swam over.

I moved the net into place and the duckings immediately dived under water, scattering in a starburst formation you usually see at air shows. They popped to the surface and gathered in a raft. After a few more attempts I realized this wasn't going to work. The next time they dived I chased one underwater with the net, so that as the duck popped to the surface the net rose up around it. Fifteen minutes later I had a box full of duck and duckings.

I took them to various places along the river but it was full of kids escaping the heat. In the end I drove to Butlers Falls reserve 10km out of town. I carefully tipped the box onto its side, opened a door and waited. A few seconds later the duck came out and looked around. She gave me a dirty look and made a soft "Kwit kwit kwit!" noise. The ducklings came out of the box and flollowed her into the river. Two minutes later they were lost in the willows on the opposite bank.

I love rescues like this.

Duckies

The two little ducks are much larger and have been moved to the day cage outside. That cage has a grass floor and shallow water dish for them to bath and sunbake as required because their down is not yet fully waterproof and they get drenched. The UV will do them good, too. They still don't have feathers which means I have to bring them in at night and supply them with a 40W light bulb for heating. They are really wild and panic when anyone goes near, so release will be easy.

Blue Tongue Lizard

He had no injuries so I let him go in the garden. My mix of I Can't Believe It's Not Molluscs is vanishing every day and it's not mice eating it. I had to stop putting bananas into the mix because I can't afford to buy them at the moment.

Shelley

Her wire frame and super glue supports are rock-hard; there is no movement along the crack in her shell. When her nutral-cure sillicone is fully dry I'll re-introduce her to water so she can eat. Snake-neck tortoises don't have tongues and require their heads to be underwater so they can eat. Next Week she'll get wet and wild, with shredded greens.

Freddie

Bat is being difficult. He refuses to eat all the meal worms, which means I have to squeeze the creamy wormy goodness out of the bodies and smear it on his face, forcing him to lick himself clean. Enough goes in to keep him alive but he's still thin. I hope soon he'll get a taste for the worms and eat the whole lot. When that happens I can get him to self-feed from a dish and move him into a bat-tent. Right now he's still in the rescue bag.