(no subject)

[den]

A frog goes into a bank to borrow some money for a holiday. As he goes up to the teller he notices her name is Patricia Wak. "Excuse me, Ms Wak," says the frog. "I'd like to borrow some money."

Patricia looks at the frog for a while. "Riiiiight," she says at last as she gets the forms. "Could I have your name?"

"Kermit Jagger," says the frog. "My dad is Mick Jagger. He knows the Manager so it'll be okay."

Patricia writes this down. "And do you have any collateral?" Kermit holds up a tiny porcelain elephant. Patricia takes the elepaht and says "I'll go see the manager." Once inside, she tells the manager what's happening, finishing with "... and all he has this this thing." She shows the manager the tiny elephant. "What the hell is this anyway?"


The manager looks at the little figure and says "It's a nik-knak, Patty Wak. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone." 

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[haggis-bagpipes.livejournal.com]

An explorer goes into a tribal village and is astonished to discover that his hut has an electric light. When he asks the chief how this is possible the chief explains that white men sold him and his people a mechanism for creating electricity and enough lights to give everyone in the village a light to read by. The device was powered by a large treadmill. However, the treadmill required constant attention to keep it working, and it would require a large number of people to keep it going enough to keep everyone in the village illuminated long into the night. The villagers got attached to the lights but got sick of having to use the treadmill every other day so the other half of the village could have light. So the chief explained how he hit upon a solution which he showed to the explorer. A hundred dogs occupied the treadmill, each with a stick attached to its back, and at the end of each stick dangled a bone which the hounds would chase constantly, thus powering the lights and ensuring that the villagers could have light all of the time.

"So you see," explained the chief, "Many hounds make light work."