Coffee, Owls

[den]

I have to wonder about people who call to have animal picked up. I always phone to let them know I'm on my way but today the call went like this:

Me: Hi it's Den from WIRES here.
Him: Who?
Me: Den, from Wires.
H: Who?
Me: The animal rescue mob.
H:Oh.
[long pause.]
Me:Is that Lee?
H:Who?
Me: Lee. He called about an owl.
H: erm...
Me: Apparently one was being attacked by crows.
H: Oh. Yeah.
Me: I'm calling to let you know I'll be around to pick it up in--
H: I called an hour ago.
Me: I know. I'm just knocking off from work, so I'll be around in--
H: Yeah, but I've had the bird for an hour. I thought you wanted things like this.
Me: We do. I'll be there in 10 minutes. I'm just leaving the office now.
H: Yeah, well. I called an hour ago.
Me: See you soon.
H: Seeya.

As he hung up I heard someone in the background shout "Who is it?"
"Fuckin WIRES. He'll be here in--" and the line went dead.

So I picked up a thouroughly annoyed barn owl in a box. ("Crikey! He's a bit stroppy!") The bloke's attitude and contant "Call an hour ago" really got to me, so I decided I needed a coffee from a large multinational take-away franchise. The food at this place is consistantly boring, but their coffee is always good-ish. It's certainly better than the instant I have at home. I left the owl in the car, entered the store and ordered a coffee at the counter. "Large flat white, 1 sugar please."

Coffee for me is a caffein delivery system. I don't need double mocha lattes with extra cream and a twist of lemming. Forget the fancy froths and syrups, I just want coffee, dammit, and be FAST. The young fellow behind the counter was very efficient. Coffee ground, cups filled, milk heated in a few minutes. He placed the coffee in front of me, sprinkled on some powdered chocolate...

We looked at the Cappucino. "I'm so sorry!" he stammered. "That's not what you wanted!"

"'Sokay," I mumbled. "Now that it's made I'll take it."

"Look, how about I just charge you for the flat white, and you take this one?"

"That will be fine," I said. The deal was agreed upon. Now all that was needed would be an exchange of goods: coffee for money. The coffee was mine!

Then the Manager intervened. He'd heard our exchanged, and came over to berate the coffee maker. Note to Managers: Don't tear into your staff in front of the Customers; it makes everyone except yourself feel bad. The manager then apologized to me, and grabbed my coffee. MY coffee! He grabbed my coffee and took it away. At that moment I leapt the counter and bit him on the face.

No I didn't, but I bloody well should have.

"Make what he ordered!" he said, and the poor counter attendant did as he was told. I sipped on the coffee and was cranky in the car, along with the owl.

Anyway. Owl was fine. I let her go half an hour ago.

Comments

[azhdragon.livejournal.com]

/me grins.

had a similar experience yesterday at a bakery in Port Fairy.

me: Low Fat Flat White, please.
them: sugar?
me: no thanks.
them: great, I'll bring it out to you.

a few minutes later, what arrives on my table? a cappucino. as the woman put it down, she said "is that right?"

I said "No, I wanted a flat white, but this'll do, since it's made"

why does everyone assume you want a heap of froth on the damn things? I want coffee. I want it hot, and I want it with milk in it. that's it. I only ask for low fat because it agrees with my stomach better.

But the snake and pygmy pie I had to go with it was *excellent*.

[kurtbatz.livejournal.com]

Idiots =P ~~~

Gorgeous owl btw!

[chriswheeler.livejournal.com]

I agree with you. Manger needs a good stomping. I prefer the praise in public, disipline in private method. That way you don't get embarrased when you go off half cocked.

Nice looking owl, i'm really curious how the dickhead rescuer managed to capture the owl, since I never have much luck getting close enough to photograph them.

[dewhitton.livejournal.com]

The crows had knocked it to the ground, and being broad daylight the owl was confused and just sat there. He picked it up and dropped it in a box.

[chriswheeler.livejournal.com]

Permission to use that owl pic as a userpic

[dewhitton.livejournal.com]

Yeah, sure! I was thinking of making one saying "Yes, really. Now shut up."

[ursulav.livejournal.com]

Animal rescue in ten minutes or your money back! I'd just start making up lies at that point.

"Sorry, I was at my mother's funeral and we just got out."

"Sorry, our rapid response team was out prying a rabid boomslang off a baby. You get me instead."

"Because we didn't pick up your owl in fifteen minutes, it's free."

"I was dodging traffic to rescue an enraged wombat, but I dropped everything when I got your call. Unfortunately, it took forty-five minutes for traffic to break long enough for me to staggger across the road with the wombat attached to my face."

[dewhitton.livejournal.com]

That last one would require proof. Like a wombat.

Attached to the face.

[tigermorph.livejournal.com]

*falls off chair laughing...may need new panties*

[hafoc.livejournal.com]

If the enraged wombat were Digger, the TRAFFIC would need rescuing.

[weyrdbird.livejournal.com]

I hope the barn owl screamed in the ears of those people the whole hour it took you to get there. Day-umn! Some People. It is a healthy specimen all right! And I agree about the coffee. None of this diet latte/syrup with fake whip to go business. At least they didn't get in your face about the bloody sizes "it's venti, not large"...Gah!

[dewhitton.livejournal.com]

We don't have a Starbucks in this town. HOORAY!

[weyrdbird.livejournal.com]

You're lucky. They are everywhere here now :P, and have killed one local chain already. Some people on campus put up some fake future home of posters on the empty discount den on campus and grafitti included statements like "For the love of God, not *another* one!" etc.:D The posters stayed up longer than average. There are TWO near where I live within 2 blocks of each other. Thank god Steep and Brew hasn't been killed. Yet.

[tigermorph.livejournal.com]

Is there an organization equivalant to WIRES set up for managers who get bit in the face by caffeine deprived bat lovers?

I have this sort of cartoonish superhero image in my head now...sort of the HUulk only you change into a huge bat and give the guy a well deserved bite in the face... then settle back down into Den, smile at the clerk, collect your coffee and say "Thanks" as you drift out the door....

PRETTY OWL!!!! But she looks like she wants to bite your face.

(Oh dear ... I can see this becoming my phrase of the week... "Don't make me bite your face!")

Crikey!!

[penpouring.livejournal.com]

She IS a BEAUTY!!!

Sidenote*** Whenever I go to a cafe or Coffee Spot I like to take the opportunity, whenever presented - usually when they are sprinkling the powdered cocoa or cinnamen on my froth to say

"a little more on......little moron....moron......"

They never catch on but I secretly laugh...hysterically... inside....

[dizzdvl.livejournal.com]

That owl wants to bite me doesn't it?

There will be a bird moving in here soon. (I can't remember what it is, but it's name is Bubba.) And we're positive it will scare the crap out of the cats.

[hafoc.livejournal.com]

I've been having a really bad day. First these crows got all over me. I got my back to the wall, so I could handle them, but then this house-ape who smelt of deep-friers and stale beer grabbed me and threw me in a box! I could have ripped his face off, of course-- he was only a monkeyboy. But the cowards always attack you in the daylight, when you can't see them.

So then he gave me to another house-ape. This one smelt of GOOD beer and bad coffee, but that was an improvement. I didn't know what he was going to do to me, but when I offered to rip HIS face off, I scared him so much that he forgot to close the box! So I got away before he could eat me. Stupid house-apes!

[tavella.livejournal.com]

I love owl faces, especially when they have their neck stretched out like that. So flat and strange and alien, yet cute.

[dewhitton.livejournal.com]

Such tiny beaks, and yet a whole mouse can fit in.

[blue-mirage21.livejournal.com]

Cute owl. What an asshole - the guy on the phone that is. An hour is nothing...be patient and thankful YOU aren't the one in the box! I hate mean managers, they always make me want to yell at them in front of their underlings...but I haven't done it...yet

[jrrhack.livejournal.com]

manager deserves to die.

tis is too sick capitalism I bet he threw that coffee in the sink.

bastard. coffee.

did that other guy really call 1 hour? what a person to bother with an owl.

Isn´t chinese guy is it? Maybe it is too much effort to see things moving and he cannot eat it.


sorry bad joke.

[dewhitton.livejournal.com]

The manager took away MY coffee! And I bet he did throw it away, or drank it himself. Bastard.

I don't understand the "1 hour" problem that guy had. The owl was in a box, and the guy didn't have to do anything else with it.

[jrrhack.livejournal.com]

I know I know let me answer.

the answer is simple.


the guy is a tard. that's the answer.

[frith]

[surprise]Barn owls -- native to Oz and nearly everywhere else.[/surprise] Here it is claimed that released rehab barn owls have very low survival rates: http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/DTrapp/barnowli.htm (see bold paragraphs near bottom of the page)

[dewhitton.livejournal.com]

This one was strictly in, check of breaks and feather damage, and out. She had a few feathers missing on her neck but her eyes worked and everything else looked okay.

I only had her for a couple of hours, until it was dark.

Rehab = worth

[frith]

Excellent. 8^) I mentioned the rehab success thing as a point of interest, not as an examination of your method. Personally, I feel that the demonstration of interest in wildlife welfare through rehab networks vastly outweighs actual rehab success rates in the contribution to efforts to raise awareness and intrinsic value of habitat/diversity in the mind of the general public (and policy makers).

Re: Rehab = worth

[dewhitton.livejournal.com]

I just spoke to our Owl Rehabber, and she has an old barn turned into an aiviary specifically for barn owls. It's full of old machinery, a small hay stack and a few bags of grain. The owls have room to fly and the other stuff attracts rodents.

The young owls get a lot of hunting practice before they're released, and release is done by opening the door. She doesn't do hard releases.

Re: Rehab = worth

[frith]

That sounds as close to ideal as you can get without getting wild owls to foster chicks. 8^)

[avenginglioness.livejournal.com]

beautiful owl, ugly people! sorry you had to deal with them. Especially that manager. gah. I'd have asked for my money back and told him I'd go somewhere else, then handed the kid behind the counter $5.