Stories of a short, fat bastard.

Pours a clear mid-golden colour with a small head. A lot of carbonation visible in the glass.

First Sip: Strong lemon citrus flavours, with a mild malt. Medium hops bitterness all over the tongue, which lingers long after the swallow. Medium mouth feel, with a moderate carbonation tingle on the tongue.

This is very nice. Not too light, not too bitter. The right amount of hops and carbonation. This is one to drink at a BBQ on a mild spring day. It certainly does not need a hot day to appreciate it. I'd happily get well refreshed on a six-pack for this brew.

Pale Ale
Sail & Anchor Pub Brewery
4.9% alc/vol
345ml bottle



Same again, sir? Yes please!

Pours a clear golden colour with lots of bubbles visible in the glass. The head is white, medium in size, and bubbly.

First sip: Very mild malt, with mild citrus and a little hops up front. Extremely faint hops on the back of the tongue, which gradually builds up to not much. Mouth-feel is light to medium with a nice carbonation tingle on the tongue.

This beer is... beery. And drinkable. And nice enough, but it's boring. If today was very hot, this would be a really good dying-for-a-beer-in-summer brew. It's not a good beer for mid-winter where you want something a little heavier and tastier you can quaff in front of a fire. It's not a bad beer, but it's not a great beer. South Australia brews great beers and this isn't one of them.

How do you get a boring beer?



Yenda Golden Ale
Australian Beer Company
4.2% alc/vol
330ml bottle

Same again, sir? Umm... Yes. No. Maybe? Meh.

It's been a long month.

After being brought out of the coma Dad picked up a lung infection which made recovery slower than normal. He was having a lot of trouble breathing and had to be on oxygen for most of the time. His recovery was very slow and was made worse by the deliums he was having. He could answer questions, but much of what he said made no sense, such as:

- "Lower the bed! They won't charge as much!"

- "We should pay them the $600 to get our advertising on that TV *points at CCTV monitor showing the door to ICU*"

- "I've given Polly to the Taiwanese Ambassador. You need to crate her up and send her to the embassy on Tiwi Island." (Tiwi is a group of Aboriginal lands off the coast of Darwin.)

- *points at green Emergency Exit sign* "The light's green! You have to go!"

- "What was the name of that movie we saw yesterday? You know the one: about that chef who became a police man and let all the bagettes out of jail..."

Most of these passed quickly but the most persistent delusion was getting electrocuted by the O2 sensor which caused blue sparks to shoot out his bum, and electrified his urine. He was convinced we could get $200k from the hospital so he asked the nurse to send a sample of his urine to our friend Arpit at Dubbo Base Hospital. He was quite agitated about this until the nurse took the sample, labelled it and said she would mail it to Dubbo now. Then she went out the back "To send it" and dumped it in a bin. Dad calmed down. Later he told me he did a blue poo.

The ICU docs were worried his recovery was very slow, but al least his was eating and drinking. Then they realised his gastrointestinal tract was paralysed and all the food he was eating - not that there was a lot anyway - was not passing through. The pressure was pressing upwards and constricting his diaphragm and lungs. So he was intubated *again* and left semi conscious while they pumped more drugs in to force the anaesthetic to unbind from the gut wall. After sorting out that problem and expelling all the accumulated gas - the entire ICU stank of fart for half an hour - he condition improved rapidly. His lungs started to clear and he could eat again.

Two days later he was moved to a general ward, and recovery was swift. After 4 weeks in ICU and 7 days in the ward, the doctors were talking about sending Dad back to Dubbo on 5 days for rehab. Then he had a fall; he tried to go to the loo unassisted and his knees gave way. He grabbed the table for support and brought down the table, breakfast plates and food and cutlery with a massive crash. Nurses came running, and later the doc decided a few extra days in General wouldn't hurt.

And it didn't hurt! At the end of that extra time Dad was eating proper solid food and drinking tea and proper liquid water instead of the weird thickened jelly water he'd been eating. Eventually the big day arrived, and Dad was transferred by ambulance from Royal Prince Alfred to Dubbo Base Hospital. He was in Base for 5 days, then transferred to Loudes Hospital for rehab.

And that's where his is now. Twice-daily sessions with a physioterrorist leaves him exhausted, but he is improving every day Mum is meeting with the physio staff to discuss what Dad will need at home, because they are talking about releasing him in 2 weeks. Which is good news.

***

Let's talk about the evils of socialized medicine. The final bill for for this medical emergency is $Zero. But it's not like my parents pay nothing for 4 weeks in ICU, ambulance x 3, air ambulance x 1, and weeks in hospital. Mum and Dad paid tax their entire working lives, and have contributed the mandatory 1.5% tax to Medicare since the mid 70s. This is why we pay tax for Medicare; it's not for nothing or to give freeloaders a free ride, it's to create a pool of funds to treat those who need it. We have almost zero medical-induced bankruptcies in this country. It's a bloody good system and I hope the conservative government keep their hands off it. Rant over.

Tomorrow Dad flies to Royal Prince Alfred Hospital, and on Thursday morning he starts the bypass surgery.

I will drive Mum to Sydney tomorrow, and after a short break at Uncle Rod's we will visit Dad at RPA tomorrow night. The plan is to be at RPA on Thursday afternoon to meet Dad in recovery. Pete will stay home to look after the dogs and houses*, and on Friday or Saturday we swap - I drive to Dubbo and he drives to Sydney. At some point we swap again. Dad will stay at RPA for about 10 days, then it back to Dubbo for 8 weeks rest & recovery. It will be difficult to make him rest.


*A bunch of utter arse-holes have targeted this estate because they have decided they want other people's stuff. Yesterday a car was parked in front of our parent's house for a couple of hours. Mum drove here, then drove back with Pete. The bloke in the car was in the process of getting out, but when he saw Mum and Pete arrive at the house, he got back in the car and left. Pete rang the Police and gave them a description and number plate. I suspect the car was stolen; Pete said the passenger window was broken. About 1am last night the neighbours behind Mum's chased a "man in a hoodie" out of their yard. Apparently their rottweiler objected to the stranger. Tonight Polly went berserk at the back fence and put something >cat large over the top... the rottweiler objected again.

So Things have been happening that I can't write about, so I will only say:

This is why I've been quiet for the last month.

But last Wednesday Mum rang to say Dad had chest pains, and she was taking him to the hospital.

"No!" I said. "Ring 000 immediately and get an ambulance. We'll be right over."

Dad was pale and sweaty, and had a crushing pain in his chest, and his left arm felt too heavy to lift. Mum was hovering over him and looking very worried, but Dad kept insisting it was just indigestion. He'd taken some Mylanta but it didn't work, and Pete said "That's not indigestion." He waited with Dad and I went to the front yard to meet the ambulance. It arrived after 5 minutes - it felt like an hour - and I told the paramedics Dad's symptoms as they got out their kit. In less than a minute - it felt like forever - they had unloaded the stretcher and were in the house and assessing Dad. They asked him a lot of questions about how long had he felt the pain and had he felt it before? Yes (!) about 4.30am that morning but it went away so he didn't wake mum. Silly bugger.

The ambos works on him for about 10 minutes taking temperature and blood pressure, and sticking 'dots' on his chest to take a preliminary ecg. They put a vasco-dilator under his tongue, and the pain went away. Then came the complicated getting-Dad-on-his-feet-and-loading-him-onto-the-stretcher and wheeling him out to the ambulance. Concerned neighbours were gathered around the ambulance so I told them what was happening.

(Polly was being weird. She would not move more than 1 meter from Dad at any time, even when the ambos were there, and could not be removed outside. She did not bark or growl at the ambos when they came in but she did look very worried.)

Mum rode in the ambulance to the hospital, and I followed in my car. Pete stayed at the hose to look after the dogs and to lock up afterwards. By going with the ambos, Mum got to enter Dubbo Base Hospital by the emergency entrance and to go into ICU with Dad. I had to park the car and enter by the main entrance then wait until they said I could go in, which took forever (about 15 minutes). Dad was hooked up to the machine that went Ping! and monitored blood pressure, oxygen, and heart beat, and he looked exhausted but at least he wasn't pale any more. Our good friend Arpit arrived and used his influence as a pathologist at the hospital to hurry along the blood tests. He really shouldn't have, but I'm glad he did.

The blood tests confirmed a heart attack. The doc said it was a "non-STEMI infarction" and there was some damage to the heart, but not heart-stopping muscle death damage. Dad would need an angiogram in Orange Base Hospital tomorrow (Thursday) to see what the problem is, and maybe install a stent or two. Orange is a 2 hour drive away which makes visiting a bit of a problem, but it's a brand new hospital and they have All The Things.

The result of the angiogram is that he needs multiple bypasses. A stent would fix the problem for a few months, then he'd still need a bypass operation. The doctor arranged to send Dad to Royal Price Alfred Hospital for the operation. On Friday we found out RPA doesn't have a bed free until Wednesday next week so Dad is in Orange Base until then. The bypass operation is scheduled for Thursday. We will travel to Sydney on Wednesday to be there Thursday.

Dad is in good hands but we're all very worried.

Something has been puzzling me for a long time, and I can't find a good answer.

This is a serious question:

Who are the Kardashians?

What did they do to be famous?

Why are they all over various media outlets?

Who.

Are.

They?

Okay, that's four questions. Or 3.5 if you count the last one as a repeat of the first. In that case, it would be three questions. And I assume the answer to the last 3 (or 2.5. Or 2) are tied to the first.

Anyway.

I know who they are, what I want to know is why they are.

A long time ago* in a land far far away** apparently*** there was a reality TV show about a family. The show ended, and then this mob were all over the media. I don't know why they had a TV show. I don't know why they have a clothing/accessories line people actually want. I don't know why they are on The Internet, and people take notice of them, or go mad over their digitally enlarged bums. Why does one of them declare he is a woman, and she is instantly more famous and awarded Courageous Person Of The Year, when I have at least 3 friends who have done the same (or transitioned from female to male) and have not been awarded anything for doing this.

...um... question mark, I think.

So. Who are the Kardashians?


*15ish years or so.
**USA
*** I don't think it aired here, and if it did, I wouldn't have watched it.****
**** I don't watch That Sort Of Thing.

I think the A4 Pacific engines are my favourite steam engines.

Ugh. 38C here, with 50% humidity. The humidity has stopped the evaporative a/c from working properly - instead of blowing cooled air it's filling the house with warm, humid air. There is a storm brewing outside but I have no idea when it will hit. Soon, I hope. The garden could do with watering.

Happy new year etc.