Stories of a short, fat bastard.

Shall we retire to the smoking lounge and discuss the day's events over a nice port?.

I really could do with a new yachting suit, y'know.

Yesterday I needed a few small items of food (skim milk, eggs) and some doggie treats for Snowy, so I headed down to IGA. As I entered the store I thought "I wonder if they have any farmhouse cheddar today" - they don't usually - and hit the deli section. They didn't have any cheddar, but a label caught my eye. 125g King Island Dairy Camenbert, reduced to clear - down from $10.80 to $5.50. No wait....

The deli owner was bashing away on items with the label maker. I showed her the packet. "Does that really say $2.00?"

"Yes," she said. "I have to warn you that it expires today."

"It's cheese! It'll keep for ages in the fridge."

She laughed. "I know, but jf I don't sell it today I have to give it to my pigs."

"Lucky pigs." I looked at the racks of cheeses. "I will have to disappoint them."

So I picked up:
3 x 125g King Island Dairy Camenbert @ $2.00 each (Down from $10.50)
3 x 125g King Island Dairy Triple Cream Brie @ $2.00 each (Down from $12 each)
4 x 200g King Island Dairy blue-vein brie @ $2.00 (Down from $12 ea)
6 tubs sliced olives in mild chilli-flavoured oil @ 50c each (down from $5 each)

$133.50 worth of cheese and olives for $21

I love cheese, and yet I have never had so much cheese in my fridge at one time.

I gave Mum some of the camenberts and bries. She'd not so keen on the blue cheese.

In the mid 80s I lived in Sydney and had to commute to Wynyard Station. Every afternoon a fellow would get into the carriage, find a seat, then reach into his bag and pull out two slices of bread. Then he'd pull from the bag a small wheel of camenbert, and put it between the slices. The whole wheel, unsliced. And then he'd eat it. I was always amazed by this.

My lunch for the foreseeable future will be slices of brie (or camenbert) and olive sandwiches.

I feel so decadent! And yet, cheap.

This is one frame out of a time lapse I was making of the clouds. A sparrow decided my GoPro would make a good perch.

I'll post the time lapse later.

Pours a dark, slightly cloudy amber. The head is large and bubbly, and fades away slowly to a thick lacing.

First sip: Sweet malts and caramel up front, with a nice citrus after-taste. Quite a lot of hops bitterness which lingers for a long while, but not as much as you would expect from something called "5 Hops." Does not have the pine-resin after-taste I find in other hoppy brews. Mouth-feel is medium with a nice carbonation tingle on the tongue.

This is quite a nice brew. It tastes hoppy without being too bitter, and is quite warming in the belly. It is definitely a good one for Winter, but not so good in Summer. The hops really comes out when the beer warms a little. The beer comes corked and capped like a mini-champagne bottle. At first I thought it would be really gassy - I could have popped the cork like champagne - but it is really quite mild when it comes to gas in the beer.



This would go very well with any meal.

And it really does go well with a farmhouse cheddar, because cheese.

5 Hops Winter Ale
Moa Brewing Company, Blenheim NZ
6.2% alc/vol
375ml bottle



Same again, sir? Yes please!

This has Shane Warne's signature on the label. I don't know why a bowler is involved with a label showing a batman's score - and a good one, too. One a bowler wouldn't like to see, normally, but Warnie's highest score was out on 99, but he was given out when caught off a no-ball*. Therefore, the label name.

And the Cricket World Cup is on the telly!



Pours a dark golden colour with a small amount of sediment. The head is small but quite thick and long lasting. A small amount of carbonation is visible in the glass.

First sip: Mild, slightly sweet malts with a biscuity flavour. Slight citrus flavour which swamped by a mild but very long lasting hops bitterness and dryness. Mouth-feel is light and a little thin, and a bit foamy on the tongue.

This one makes me go "Hmmmmm..." followed by "I dunno" then "Yeah. Okay." It is quite drinkable, and gets better as you drink more. I think it's let down by the thin mouth-feel. Even so, it's quite drinkable and would go well at a BBQ. I could happily settle in for a session with this brew.

And of course, farmhouse cheddar.

99 Not Out Pale Ale
Moa Brewing Company, Blenheim NZ
5% alc/vol
330ml bottle



Same again, sir? Yes.

*no, this is not a string of random words.

Pours a golden colour, with a large head that fades away to a thick lacing. A small amount of sediment makes the beer almost opaque.

First Sip: Slightly sweet, with strong flavours of grain and citrus. Mild but long-lasting hops bitterness remains after the swallow. Medium mouth-feel, but it is little foamy on the tongue and quite dry.

I'm not really a fan of pilsners, but this was quite nice. I wouldn't go out of my way to drink it, but I'd never refuse one if it were offered. It goes well with a mild farmhouse cheddar, and would be excellent with my mate Thiva's dal curry* and rice.

Moa Methode Pilsner
Moa Brewing Company
5% alc/vol
330ml bottle



Same again, sir? Okay. Don't forget the cheese.


*Thiva made one at Sri Lankan strength, and I think I lost all my taste buds for a few days. He tones them down to "Aussie Strength" when he makes me one. "I only use one whole chilli" he told me. Even so, next day my bum feels like the map on Bonanza and I'm sure it looks like the Japanese flag.**

**I've not actually looked to confirm this.

Something to start my third trip around the world - a macro brew from Tasmania.



Pours a clear, bubbly golden colour with a large head.

First sip: Slightly sweet malts with a bready flavour, followed by a slight hops bitterness. Mouth-feel is thin and dry, and a bit gassy.

Since this is a macro-lager from a beer factory I didn't expect much. And this beer delivers that in spades. It's not horrible, and quite refreshing on a hot day like today (36C/97F/309.1K). That's about it. It doesn't have a lot of taste to distinguish it from any other macro-lager. I'd drink this at a BBQ or party if it was on offer, but I wouldn't go out of my way to acquire it unless specifically ask to do so.

Premium Lager
J Boags & Sons
5%alc/vol
375ml bottle



Same again, sir? Meh

I have now gone around the world twice.




Pours a slightly cloudy pale yellow, with a medium white head that fades away quickly.

First Sip: Bready, biscuity malts up front with a faint sweet malt lurking in there, which is almost hidden by lemon citrus flavours. Mild hops bitterness on the back of the tongue. Mouth-feel is a little watery with a very dry after-taste.

Even though it feels a little watery, it is really refreshing on a hot day. And it is a beer for a hot day. I could easily quaff a six pack today, if I had a six pack. It goes down easily and the dry finish makes this very more-ish. It's a good ale for a mild curry or smoked meats, and it goes very well with a mature cheddar.

Moa Blanc (Wheat lager)
Moa Brewing Company
5% alc/vol
330ml bottle




Same again, sir? Yes!

I really want the Japanese Government to send the Phantom Agents into Syria to end these Daesh dogs.

Google have two of their Loons in the air over Australia - one is in the middle of Western Australia and the other is between Adelaide and Whyalla.

Both are at >65,000 feet, beaming Internet at the unwary.