Stories of a short, fat bastard.

Incidentally, if you're interested in trying some serious Australian rum, get your hands on a bottle of Inner Circle (http://www.innercirclerum.com.au/) Grey (previously known as Inner Circle Black). It's about AUS$80/bottle locally, and probably even more if you can find it in the States, but it's worth every cent.

75.9% ethanol, but it doesn't taste like rocket fuel; this stuff is the Grange Hermitage of rum. If you do get any, be aware that mixing it with anything except perhaps a tiny amount of water is completely sacrilegious.