(no subject)

[den]

A frog goes into a bank to borrow some money for a holiday. As he goes up to the teller he notices her name is Patricia Wak. "Excuse me, Ms Wak," says the frog. "I'd like to borrow some money."

Patricia looks at the frog for a while. "Riiiiight," she says at last as she gets the forms. "Could I have your name?"

"Kermit Jagger," says the frog. "My dad is Mick Jagger. He knows the Manager so it'll be okay."

Patricia writes this down. "And do you have any collateral?" Kermit holds up a tiny porcelain elephant. Patricia takes the elepaht and says "I'll go see the manager." Once inside, she tells the manager what's happening, finishing with "... and all he has this this thing." She shows the manager the tiny elephant. "What the hell is this anyway?"


The manager looks at the little figure and says "It's a nik-knak, Patty Wak. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone." 

Comments

[makovette.livejournal.com]

That dog is so shaggy it'll never see it's own tale :D

CYa!
Mako

[dewhitton.livejournal.com]

Narf!

[arcturax.livejournal.com]

Oh boy :P

Still not as bad as the joke in the bar given by Quentin Tarintino in the movie Desperado :P

[weyrdbird.livejournal.com]

Argh!
88888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888

[starcat-jewel.livejournal.com]

I'd never heard that particular extension of the joke before!

[haggis-bagpipes.livejournal.com]

An explorer goes into a tribal village and is astonished to discover that his hut has an electric light. When he asks the chief how this is possible the chief explains that white men sold him and his people a mechanism for creating electricity and enough lights to give everyone in the village a light to read by. The device was powered by a large treadmill. However, the treadmill required constant attention to keep it working, and it would require a large number of people to keep it going enough to keep everyone in the village illuminated long into the night. The villagers got attached to the lights but got sick of having to use the treadmill every other day so the other half of the village could have light. So the chief explained how he hit upon a solution which he showed to the explorer. A hundred dogs occupied the treadmill, each with a stick attached to its back, and at the end of each stick dangled a bone which the hounds would chase constantly, thus powering the lights and ensuring that the villagers could have light all of the time.

"So you see," explained the chief, "Many hounds make light work."

[zianuray.livejournal.com]

*groan*

Now I'm gonna be humming that all day....

[hopeforyou.livejournal.com]

aaaaaaaaaaaaa!

[dewhitton.livejournal.com]

My work is done.

[walks-far.livejournal.com]

Absolutely the worst shaggy dog stories I have ever seen. You should read Theodore Strugeon's "Shah Guido G" and compare. Tis a strange little Sci-fi story.

[klishnor.livejournal.com]

Or Arthur C Clark's short story of three spaceships, one American, one British and one Russian which come across a Black Hole. The British and Russian ships skirt the edges of the Event horizon and survive more or less intact, but only small fragmants of the American one are found, indeed they only recognise the remains when they see a Star Mangled Spanner.

Don't blame me, Den started it.

[hafoc.livejournal.com]

(sigh)

So this guy has a backyard zoo. (Maybe he's into wildlife rehabilitation, I don't know.) He's got a proud but toothless old circus lion, chimps, wombats, coupla roos, and porpoises in the swimming pool.

He reads an old textbook that says the porpoises will live forever if he can feed them herring gulls. So he goes out, catches some, and returns home.

As he comes to his back yard gate, he sees he left it open, and the lion is sleeping across the opening. But that's OK, he's a pleasant old lion. So our hero just steps over him, carrying the caged birds.

And is immediately arrested. What for? Transporting gulls across a stately lion for immortal porpoises, of course.

You're right, Den started it.

Oops!

[starcat-jewel.livejournal.com]

"Shah Guido G." is by Asimov, not Sturgeon.

And then, of course, there are the Feghoots...

[darkbunny.livejournal.com]

I heard it as 'staid lion'