The walking flock

[den]

Last week I was called out to rescue some "doves," but on arriving I was handed a box containing some rats with wings. I really wish these were metaphorical pigeons, but they are not. If they had bands on their feet they'd be racing pigeons with owners, but they don't. They are your genuine, feral rats with wings. Somewhere in their ancestry are domesicated breeds (if a pigeon can be called domesticated). One is a slightly off-white with pale brown feathers on the neck, and the other is pure white with black patches that glow an irridescant red in the sun. THe B&W one has a dislocated wing, but the other is back to health after a week of R&R.

Normally I'd euthanase the feral bastards as soon as I got home but Mum saw them.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Euthanasing them."

"No you're not."

"But this one has a dislocated shoulder, and they're both ferals anyway."

"They're my birds."

Suddenly, in the space of three words, I found myself preparing to kill my Mum's pet pigeons.

So now the birds live in the back yard, walking around as they search for food, drinking from the fish pond and sleeping under the bbq table beside the dog kennels.The off-white one can fly, but always returns to its grounded mate. They are protected from cats by the dogs, and wander around the dogs without a care. It only took one "BADDOG!" from Mum to undo my dozens of "Skitch the rats!" attempts.

On the whole, I think I'd prefer metaphorical pigeons.

Comments

[hedgegoth.livejournal.com]

yay mum!
doves are just pigeons with good PR

[sanderling.livejournal.com]

I like to think that pigeons are just doves with bad PR. ;)

[makovette.livejournal.com]

Narf! :-D

Mako

[torakiyoshi.livejournal.com]

You're both wrong. They're swallows. Just ask the people at the San Juan Capistrano mission, in San Diego, California. :)

"The pigeo-- er, swallows, have returned to San Juan Capistrano!"

Had one of the beasts crawl right up my shirt once to peck at my ear.

Have the best

-=TK

[oceansedge.livejournal.com]

Even rats with wings need love :)

[makovette.livejournal.com]

Squab under glass, yummy! ;-)

CYa!
Mako

[dewhitton.livejournal.com]

I *do* like pigeons. They go well with diced vegetables.

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

[dewhitton.livejournal.com]

Way too late. ursulav already owns the name.



No dirty underware yet, but I have a dirty patio.

[acelightning.livejournal.com]

[oceansedge.livejournal.com]

o/~I'd like to take you now on wings of song, as it were, and try and help you forget perhaps for a while your drab, wretched lives. Here's a song all about spring-time in general, and in particular, about one of the many delightful pastimes the coming of spring affords us all.

Spring is here, a-suh-puh-ring is here.
Life is skittles and life is beer.
I think the loveliest time of the year is the spring.
I do, don't you? 'Course you do.
But there's one thing that makes spring complete for me,
And makes ev'ry Sunday a treat for me.

All the world seems in tune
On a spring afternoon,
When we're poisoning pigeons in the park.
Ev'ry Sunday you'll see
My sweetheart and me,
As we poison the pigeons in the park.

When they see us coming, the birdies all try an' hide,
But they still go for peanuts when coated with cyanide.
The sun's shining bright,
Ev'rything seems all right,
When we're poisoning pigeons in the park.

Lalaalaalalaladoodiedieedoodoodoo

We've gained notoriety,
And caused much anxiety
In the Audubon Society
With our games.
They call it impiety,
And lack of propriety,
And quite a variety
Of unpleasant names.
But it's not against any religion
To want to dispose of a pigeon.

So if Sunday you're free,
Why don't you come with me,
And we'll poison the pigeons in the park.
And maybe we'll do
In a squirrel or two,
While we're poisoning pigeons in the park.

We'll murder them all amid laughter and merriment.
Except for the few we take home to experiment.
My pulse will be quickenin'
With each drop of strychnine
We feed to a pigeon.
It just takes a smidgin!
To poison a pigeon in the park. o/~

[torakiyoshi.livejournal.com]

Yay for Tom Lehrer!

Have the best pidgeon poison ever!

-=TK

"Do you like pigeon pie?" - Bloodnok

[sheramil.livejournal.com]

"They're my birds" is easy to say if there are only two of them. Perhaps your parent would like a gift of several hundred pigeons. Perhaps a thousand. I will be happy to add an equal measure of Frankston Seagulls, the Other Rat With Wings.

Re: "Do you like pigeon pie?" - Bloodnok

[dewhitton.livejournal.com]

I don't need a thousand seagulls, all looking puzzled about the lack of beach. (It's on the inside bend of the river at LAdy Cutler Park.)

I'm hoping these rats will join the local racing flock that passes overhead ever couple of hours.