Stories of a short, fat bastard.

Well, you've come to the right furson (actually, I came to you, but what the hey...)

I'm a sworn "Poll Inspector." That means I open, close, and supervise a polling place for the State. I get to do fun stuff like keeping the empty ballot box (sure, it is...) and blank ballots at home until the election, then returning it with the counted ballots (minus the ones we decide to throw-out, heehee) after the polls close (I even have to take a clerk with me to turn them in; if I fail to show up I can be arrested, and if any attempt is made to interfere with us *we* can arrest the person). All kidding aside, I have three clerks working with me, and we must all sign sworn affadavits that everything was right, and each ballot has a serial number on it so they can be accounted for. I even have to display the empty ballot box to the people waiting to vote when I open the polls before I put the seals on. The seals *stay* on until we close the polls, at which time we break the seals, and count the voted ballots as well as the "spoiled" ballots (where people make boo-boos and ask for another one). We have to let anyone from the public be present to supervise the counting, too, so it's not like Mexico. I also get to make pompous announcements like "By the power vested in me by the State of California, I hereby declare this polling place open" when I open and close the polls. Ah, such power! I also get to kick people out of the polls if they are wearing or display political paraphenalia, or call the police if anyone displays campaign stuff within 100 feet of the polls. This can be interesting if, like mine, the polling place is in a volunteer's garage, and a neighbor decides to put a campaing post in his own front yard. Yep, it has to come down. (I *was* hoping some arshole would wear a "Terminator" movie t-shirt during the last election, so I could kick his or her yuppie Republican arse out of my polling place, but no such luck. A "Sonic, the Hedgehog" shirt didn't count; besides, he was yiffy -- ahem).

The other posters are correct; the primaries are only to determine who will represent each of the parties in the general election, not just Republican or Democrat. In this state we have over 25 different parties, including the "Natural Law" and "Peace and Freedom" parties. Oh, we have the Greens, too. Also in California, as in a number of other States, we have an "open primary" (you need *not* be registered as a member of any party to vote for a candidate regardless of their party, but you can only vote for one candidate total). During a general election (which follows the primary) you can "write-in" the name of any candidate you wish. That's why, every election, we end up with "Bozo, the Clown," "Howdy-Doody," and "Alfred E. Newman" (of Mad Magazine fame) as tallied candidates. In fact, Madonna did pretty well during the last election, considering she didn't campaign at all. }:xD

What does continue to mystify most Americans, however, is the "Electoral College." A simple majority of votes does not assure a candidate of winning a Presidential election. The Electoral College votes, supposedly based *upon* the popular vote, and that decides it. It's a holdover from the days when communications took months, and was supposed to speed-up the results. Now it's just outmoded, confusing, and is a potential source of tampering.