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Emergency Opener
5 December 2003 00:38I found Mum in the kitchen struggling to open a can of dog food. "I can't get the opener to work properly," she said.
"Well, yeah. That's the old opener." I grabbed the new one from the drawer and opened the can in 5 seconds. Mum put the old one in the dish washer. "Why don't you throw it out?" I asked.
"No, we might need a spare in case of emergency."
I just stopped, and spent a minute thinking about this. "What sort of emergency would need an old opener that doesn't work?" I asked eventually.
I imagined burgulars breaking in, and Mum shouting "Quick! Get the emergency spare can opener!" or "The house across the road is on fire! Get the emergency can opener!" or "Oh my goodness! The Liberal Party has been voted in again! GET THE EMERGENCY SPARE CAN OPENER!"
"Well, I don't know," said Mum. "But you never know."
She actually threw the old can opener away tonight. It's in the bin. *checks* and it's still there. I wonder if I can get her to throw away the frypan with half a handle, or the 3 pairs of blunt scissors. These are the old good scissors that were demoted to just the scissors. We still have The Scissors, The Good Scissors, and The Good Scissors. The blunt scissors are in the 4th kitchen draw which is where they should be, along with with pens that don't work, flat batteries, bits of string and assorted other things that aren't useful but are kept as emergency spares.
For some reason the 4th draw always accumulates this stuff. The top drawer is for cutlery. The second drawer is for carning knives, potato smashers, cheese graters, garlic crushers, tongs and other big cooking things. Third draw is for cooking books, plastic bags and useful things like rolls of string, batteries, and so on. The 4th drawer... rubbish, blunt, and broken things that all, apparently, make excellent emergency spares.
Because you never know.
"Don't you write about this!" said Mum. oops.
"Well, yeah. That's the old opener." I grabbed the new one from the drawer and opened the can in 5 seconds. Mum put the old one in the dish washer. "Why don't you throw it out?" I asked.
"No, we might need a spare in case of emergency."
I just stopped, and spent a minute thinking about this. "What sort of emergency would need an old opener that doesn't work?" I asked eventually.
I imagined burgulars breaking in, and Mum shouting "Quick! Get the emergency spare can opener!" or "The house across the road is on fire! Get the emergency can opener!" or "Oh my goodness! The Liberal Party has been voted in again! GET THE EMERGENCY SPARE CAN OPENER!"
"Well, I don't know," said Mum. "But you never know."
She actually threw the old can opener away tonight. It's in the bin. *checks* and it's still there. I wonder if I can get her to throw away the frypan with half a handle, or the 3 pairs of blunt scissors. These are the old good scissors that were demoted to just the scissors. We still have The Scissors, The Good Scissors, and The Good Scissors. The blunt scissors are in the 4th kitchen draw which is where they should be, along with with pens that don't work, flat batteries, bits of string and assorted other things that aren't useful but are kept as emergency spares.
For some reason the 4th draw always accumulates this stuff. The top drawer is for cutlery. The second drawer is for carning knives, potato smashers, cheese graters, garlic crushers, tongs and other big cooking things. Third draw is for cooking books, plastic bags and useful things like rolls of string, batteries, and so on. The 4th drawer... rubbish, blunt, and broken things that all, apparently, make excellent emergency spares.
Because you never know.
"Don't you write about this!" said Mum. oops.
