The Frighteners
17 August 2001 14:15The worst visitor you can have in an office is a small child. I had one this morning. The Incessant chatter, the tapping on the shoulders and "What's this?" the noise while I'm on the phone.
I got sick of it real fast.
"What's in here?"
Paper.
"What's in here?"
Fax paper
"What's in this?"
Then opening every drawer and cupboard and leaving them open. I'd had enough.
"Don't open that cupboard!" I said. "The Yish lives in there."
"What's a Yish?"
"The Yish," I said. What I needed right at that moment was the room to go dark and a flashlight to shine from below "-has cold clammy hands. And it reaches out and touches you on the neck. And you go 'yeesh!'"
He quietened down for a while.
Half an hour later I was in the store, looking for a pipe connector in the locker. The door was opened and hid me from the store room doorway. Through a crack I saw the kid pause in the doorway, looking at the open door. He couldn't see me. I picked up a length to pvc pipe and growled into it. "YIIIIIIIISH!"
the running footsteps and the dopplered WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! made me realise that I had just introdued a new bogieman into some kid's nightmares.
And I feel good about that.
I got sick of it real fast.
"What's in here?"
Paper.
"What's in here?"
Fax paper
"What's in this?"
Then opening every drawer and cupboard and leaving them open. I'd had enough.
"Don't open that cupboard!" I said. "The Yish lives in there."
"What's a Yish?"
"The Yish," I said. What I needed right at that moment was the room to go dark and a flashlight to shine from below "-has cold clammy hands. And it reaches out and touches you on the neck. And you go 'yeesh!'"
He quietened down for a while.
Half an hour later I was in the store, looking for a pipe connector in the locker. The door was opened and hid me from the store room doorway. Through a crack I saw the kid pause in the doorway, looking at the open door. He couldn't see me. I picked up a length to pvc pipe and growled into it. "YIIIIIIIISH!"
the running footsteps and the dopplered WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! made me realise that I had just introdued a new bogieman into some kid's nightmares.
And I feel good about that.
no subject
Date: 16 Aug 2001 22:28 (UTC)That belongs on Den's Page Of Stuff. :>
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Date: 16 Aug 2001 22:43 (UTC)I truly needed that right this second... wish I could've seen it. :>
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Date: 16 Aug 2001 22:56 (UTC)Ohh, that is norty!!
Date: 17 Aug 2001 02:06 (UTC)no subject
Date: 17 Aug 2001 04:51 (UTC)you're a bad man Den Whitton.
You really are, some parent is going to curse your name for years to come now 8-)
love it!
ROTFL
Date: 17 Aug 2001 05:21 (UTC)This is kind of remeniscant of that Far Side cartoon where the parent is saying, "Quiet down and get in bed or I'll send the floating head of death up again." Outside the window you see a helium baloon with a face which can be raised on a string :P
I'll have to remember this trick if I ever encounter little brats in the future *grins*
ROTFLMAO
Date: 17 Aug 2001 12:37 (UTC)Now if you'd been able to put on a pair or phosphorescent gloves and been able to stick them through the door- *that* might have been going too far, and the kid would have nightmares- about the Yish and wanting to strangle you for scaring him like that:).And possibly his parents as well- once they stiopped trying not to laugh.
*giggle*
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Date: 21 Jan 2002 19:37 (UTC)beautiful
Date: 22 Jan 2002 07:06 (UTC)no subject
Date: 22 Jan 2002 07:42 (UTC)ROTFL
Date: 3 Jan 2003 05:14 (UTC)no subject
Date: 15 Aug 2003 04:45 (UTC)