Noodles Condensed Cream of Mushroom Soup (canned) Tuna (canned)
Boil noodles until mushy. Dump in soup and tuna. Stir. Generally served with chewy coffee outside a tent while camping.
Camp Barbecue Chicken
Start charcoal in square metal thing with legs which pretends to be a cheap charcoal grill but needs to be at least three inches deeper.
Start the charcoal again.
Start the charcoal again.
Squirt on charcoal starter fluid. Put out flaming eyebrows and hope like hell you were wearing cotton clothes and not polyester (polyester melts and laminates to the skin)
Wait until charcoal goes from too hot to too cold.
Put the grill on top.
Dip chicken legs in tomato catsup and throw them on the grill.
Watch for a LONG time.
Decide the danged thing isn't going to cook for a while. Go into the trailer to open the baked beans. This will signal the fat in the chicken skin to melt, drip into the charcoal, and create a fountain of flame reminiscent of the time the tanker Jupiter blew up at the docks in Bay City.
Approximately 20 nanoseconds of this will give the chicken the classic raw inside, charred outside texture of true camp cooking.
Eat it anyway, because there's nothing else. Medevac and stomach pump optional.
One Pot Breakfast
Dump water, instant oatmeal, rasins, peanuts, powdered milk, brown sugar lumps, and M&Ms into one pot and boil the hell out of it, because you forgot the real stove and it's six states away now and you only have the one-burner abomination you bought to carry along on the hike down the Grand Canyon you never did go on because of that infected cut on your foot. Discover that the mixture is really not bad at all, and certainly beats the chicken.
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Noodles
Condensed Cream of Mushroom Soup (canned)
Tuna (canned)
Boil noodles until mushy. Dump in soup and tuna. Stir. Generally served with chewy coffee outside a tent while camping.
Camp Barbecue Chicken
Start charcoal in square metal thing with legs which pretends to be a cheap charcoal grill but needs to be at least three inches deeper.
Start the charcoal again.
Start the charcoal again.
Squirt on charcoal starter fluid. Put out flaming eyebrows and hope like hell you were wearing cotton clothes and not polyester (polyester melts and laminates to the skin)
Wait until charcoal goes from too hot to too cold.
Put the grill on top.
Dip chicken legs in tomato catsup and throw them on the grill.
Watch for a LONG time.
Decide the danged thing isn't going to cook for a while. Go into the trailer to open the baked beans. This will signal the fat in the chicken skin to melt, drip into the charcoal, and create a fountain of flame reminiscent of the time the tanker Jupiter blew up at the docks in Bay City.
Approximately 20 nanoseconds of this will give the chicken the classic raw inside, charred outside texture of true camp cooking.
Eat it anyway, because there's nothing else. Medevac and stomach pump optional.
One Pot Breakfast
Dump water, instant oatmeal, rasins, peanuts, powdered milk, brown sugar lumps, and M&Ms into one pot and boil the hell out of it, because you forgot the real stove and it's six states away now and you only have the one-burner abomination you bought to carry along on the hike down the Grand Canyon you never did go on because of that infected cut on your foot. Discover that the mixture is really not bad at all, and certainly beats the chicken.